We need a little rain check.  We've seen such amazing stuff and travelled so far in the last few weeks that we just need a time out to decide where next in America, not to mention a little planning for the next leg in Japan. A pin in the map lands in Idaho Falls and we set out from Jackson through the magniicent Swan valley followingt the windy course of the beautiful Snake River.

Idaho falls is reasonably pretty, an emense wier splits the city and roars away all day and all night.  We do a walk up at the Shilo Resort and suites and using our best English accents manage to get a super discount on a nice room overlooking the river for a couple of nights.

Around about now my sister Jan lets us know she has whatsapp and will soon be in vid communication.  Such are the complications of turning on the microphone, holding her new kindle the right way up and mastering the fact that we're 7 hours behind that it will be another 5 days before we actually get to speak. The only other thing I can tell you about Idaho falls is that common to most every town we've been to it boasts it's own brewery which serves wonderful beers, it also has a barbecue pit which serves a portion of mixed baby back and louisiana spiced ribs with home made beans, slaw and 5 home made sauces that's enough for us both for 2 days!! (courtesy of a doggy bag) and is possibly the most delicious barby I've ever tasted.

The weather has changed again, it's been stunning since the snow in Deadwood.  Today it starts to rain as we make our way toward The Craters of The Moon national park. The landscape is again wide open and bleak.  The US has used this area for experiments into nuclear/atomic power since the 60s.  We pass through Blackfoot and Arco, Arco boasts a sign proclaiming it the first city on earth lit by nuclear power.  It's seen better days and looks a pretty run down place now.  Just outside of town the Melo-dee bar and grill advertises its' special of the day "Biscuits 'n' gravy with coffee"

At the Craters of the Moon the landscape is extraordinary.  It's actually a series of some 15 volcanoes which have erupted periodically over the last 15,000 years.  The lava flow has carpeted everything and the 7 mile loop drive and linked walking trails offer some amazing views.  The low cloud and persistent rain actually suits the place but we would have liked the chance to get out of the car a little more.  From here we're driving to Twin Falls a really small town again, on the Snake river.

Driving through Shoshone, Jerome and onto twin falls the weather switches again as we move south.  Everything starts getting dusty and hot.  Twin falls is built above a huge gorge with the snake river at the bottom which has carved the rocks such that hundreds of feet below us we can see the river, a small town, a golf course! It's  strange sight.  Later we meet a woman whose relative was recently filmed (she shows us on youtube) jumping from the roof of a travelling truck over the edge of the highway bridge, opening a oparachute and screaming down to the bottom of the cliffs.  We wile away the evening shooting pool and generally chilling out.  Today Idaho, tomorrow Nevada!

Crossing into Nevada we're now on a desert road which if we let it will take us all the way to Las Vegas and into the Mojave.  We want to "hang a right" and head toward California and Yosemite National Park on our way to the pacific coast, but we want an interesting route.  From twin falls we drive through the improbably named Jackpot, onto Wells, McGill and eventually Ely.  The little towns of Jackpot and Mcgill in particular have obviously sprung up around gambling and trying to steal a little fairy dust from Vegas.  Maybe they did for a while, they boast a couple of casinos and clubs all now look deserted, a half a dozen motels are here, all derelict, the doors hanging from the hinges, flapping in the hot dusty wind, windows boarded, weeds growing through the boardwalks, the only life a gas station at a crossroads and the inevitable burger outlet.

We're staying in Ely in the Historic Hotel and Gambling House.  The place has been here a hundred years or so and looks everyday of it.  True to a lot of casinos they manage to buck the trend for not allowing smoking and the whole bar area stinks of smoke, as a variety of what our American cousins call "low lifes" try to wring some money out of the slots.  We check into our room which is thankfully clean and quiet and wander up the street to find some Pork chops, again one portion does for us both.

From Ely the trip toward Bishop and Yosemite is pretty awe inspiring.  We feel somewhat dwarfed\crushed by the imense scale of the landscape.  A ribbon road stretches ahead until sight fails or it desolves into mirage, through salt flats, desert and mountain ranges, it's actually magnificent in it's desolation. At one point we stop to take photos of some salt flats, when we get back in the car and start it the phone sat nav wakes up........

"In 219 miles take a slight left"

We get to the leavingNevada, Entering California sign and Kim spends the next 30 mins singing, California man by the move, going to california by led zeppelin, california girls by the beach boys, california dreamin' by the mamas and papas, there may have been others but I struck Kim hard in the back of the head with a steel coffee thermos and buried her in a salt flat in the Sierra Nevada.

I've lost count of how many times we've said we should never go back.  Bishop held some nice memories for us.  20 years ago we passed this way after leaving Yosemite on our way to Death Valley, Vegas and the Mojave desert.  Bishop has grown, it feels comfortable, getting rich off it's proximity to the California national parks at yosemite,Kings canyon and sequoia.  Non the less it's a nice stop off and we book some accomodation for the nights before and after we go into the park before going hunting and finding a lovely bar.

The drive from Bishop to the Tioga pass entrance to Yosemite is beautiful.  Mammoth lakes provide a scenic loop off the highway all Alpine cabins, mountainous climbs and staggeringly lovely lakes and waterfalls.  Next is the June Lake loop, another 15-20 mile detour loop through magnificent scenery which reveals one vista after another that you simply cant pass without getting out of the car and wandering around or even just breathing the wonderful clear air.

The little town of Lee Vining hardly deserves the title.  A gas station two cafes and a couple of motels is all she wrote.  One of the cafes delivers some really good quality home cooked food.  Some pasta with italian sausage, a beef sandwich and a couple of cups of home made potato and bacon soup have us purring and we make our way back to our motel. 

We're in a kind of cabin, in back there's a communal balcony which serves 3 or 4 cabins. The whole thing overlooks Mono Lake, a particularly lovely lake to look at.  It's high chemical content has petrified trees and logs which jut from the alkiline water, the surrounding rocks are coloured by the water, red, green blue. 

We sit on the balcony with a wine and wait for the stars but, they're late, and we head to bed.  A shame, I wonder what adventures they would have encouraged, a huge full moon hanging like a porch light on wherever to the north wants us to keep going, Oregon, Washington, British Columbia are all that way, and as usual we don't have time, there's never enough time.  The trucks as they roar down the highway pass scant feet, just a pavements width from where we sleep but I don't think they worried us one little bit.

Into Yosemite via the out door we used last time.  Once into Tioga pass and the Toloumne meadows we remember what all the fuss was about.  First thing there's still ice on the streams that loop through the meadows.  A series of stunning mirror lakes reflect the surrounding mountains.  Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

We actually find the spot where we had a picnic 20 years ago. The area is still beautiful but a dry year has left what was a swift running stream, sparkling with pirite, a series of ponds.  Nonetheless a wedding is taking place on the sand at the rivers edge and with the half dome and el capitan in the back ground you could not argue that the setting is superb.

We have misstimed our arrival in this bit of yosemite.  Fact is we've lost track of the days and it turns out today is a saturday (We thought it was friday) and the place is stuffed with daytrippers and weekend campers from the coast and cities enjoying the stunning fall weather, colours and scenery in the national park.  In the central "big ticket item" area around bridal veil falls, el capitan and glacier point we can hardly get parked.  We remeber fondly our last visit to bridal veil falls and sitting on the  deserted rocks looking at this beautiful waterfall hazing over the cliffs way, way up above us.  An American couple approached us and asked

"Is that Norwegian you'all are talkin'?"

"Can you speak Norwegian" we ask.

"No I Cain't"

"Yet, you can understand us"

"Yes I cain"

"Have a nice day"

The crowds get a little much and we set out on the drive to the North West exit from the park  It's a wonderful drive and once out of the park we set our heads toward Jamestown, where we've decided to spend a couple of days.

We arive at the National Historic Hotel in Jamestown

 only to find that our calendar malfunction has extended to my booking the wrong bloody night in the hotel.  We're booked for Sunday but have nowhere to stay tonite.  The lady in reception very kindly phones round and gets us a room at the Palms B&B. 

The whole of Jamestown looks like a museum exhibit. Our intended hotel being no exception, and neither is our room at the Palms.  A delightful munchkin called Paula shows us a lovely room with adjoining bathroom that has two full size victorian roll top bath, one (mine) complete with rubber duckie.  The room next door is of course haunted, pretty much anything built before last wednesday in america has a ghost, it's great tourist bait.

In town tonite Halloween and trick or treat is in full swing and we have a great night in the service station bar and grill before a dreamless and ghostless sleep, a breakfast of bacon and cheese quiche and a long soak in our matching roll top baths.

It's our good friend Bob's birthday back in Denmead, and we call him and sing happy birthday, much to the delight of the munchkin who "Jes luuuuuvs our accints".  Bob and sharon have been to the pub and are in that delightfully mellow "post a few beers, enjoying a wine while the sunday roast cooks" place and we have a great chat which reminds us just how much we miss them and everyone back at home.

Whatsapp is a great thing but the way it seems to open a window into "home world" can be very upsetting.  Seeing family and friends in their front rooms where you're used to being really pushes all the homesickness buttons.  We decide to hit a bar for some sunday pm beers just to hold onto the feel of normaility we've picked up chatting to Bob and Sharon with whom we've spent so many sunday pms in the pub back at home.  

Checked out, we mosey up to the railroad museum and our right place right time luck holds as the steam train is leaving in minutes.  You can't beat a run out on a steam train can you?  In particular if it's the very train used to push the Delorean in the film "back to the future 3".  Wow what an engine? Steam gushing whistle howling we set off in carriages that have been decorated up like the hogwarts express for halloween, we have a gandalf, numerous witches and dozens of cackling kids as we train through what used to be gold rush territory.

Once delivered safely back to Jamestown we check in to the room next to the haunted one (again with the bloody ghosts) Our ghost (Flo) apparently likes to tweak toes in the middle of the night, I have the unfortunate habit of sleeping with one leg and foot on top of the covers.  To my shame I lose a lot of sleep constantly re-tucking the bedding around my feet!...

The room and whole hotel to be honest is very lovely, antique down to the wooden thunder box and the supplied robes which we can use to make our way to and from "The soaking room" a dedicated extra bathroom for the floor which houses a huge roll top victorian bath and all sorts of beautifuuly vintage fittings.

What can I tell you about the Town of Turlock apart perhaps from the fact that you should probably avoid it. The drive starts out pleasantly enough but soon it becomes obvious that this bit of California has endured quite a drout, due to the Chinese inventing global warming as a means to disadvantage the USA.  Huge dust storms gust across the roads on our way into Turlock and we book into the kind of motel that since Psycho, we've all learnt to avoid, but it's clean enough and settled in we undertake the 30 minute walk to "Downtown" that convinces us there's no f*cking way we'll be walking back after dark.

The girl at the desk of the Sunset Motel is blessed with a voice which sounds akin to a seagull screeching through a bullhorn.  I habve to keep looking over my shoulder to make sure she's talking to me rather than someone 100 metres behind me such is the volume.  At least when I look away I avoid the spittle stream.  Don't get me wrong, she's perfectly pleasant, it's just that everything she says is delivered in an eardrum shattering screech.  When we get to the office area for the free breakfast the counter looks pretty bare.

"I can make you a crepe" she squawks, "You want banana or nutella?"

I've noticed a toaster....

"Hmm do you have any bagels?"

"No we only have bread for toast"  she screams.

"Ok I'll have some bread then"

"Ain't got none"

"Sorry I don't understand"

"We ain't got bagels, we only got bread, but we ain't got none" she ticks off on her fingers as if talking to a simpleton.

"So you only have bread, but,.....you haven't got any"

"Yep, banana or nutella?"

We had banana, but it didn't really matter as she filled it with squirty cream and slathered the outside with nutella anyway.

Onto Stockton.  A lovely hotel on the river to make up for yesterday. A wonderful riverside patio is a great place to hang out with a cold beer before we set off out to find dinner.  Christ! this town has a huge homelessness problem.  There hardly seems any room to walk through the town park without stepping on some poor bugger trying to get a tent and bedding out of his shopping trolley, Maybe 1 in 2 shop fronts has someone setting up home, the darker nstreets smell of piss, it's not a pleasant walk to "T^he Deliberation Bar"

The bar is a cracker however and we settle into a couple of stools.  It's a big space, a really high ceiling as the building could accomodate 3 floors but its all one space and brick and timber surfaces.  The bar staff have to ride one of those rolling library ladders to get to some of the more exotic spirits, a huge tv is showing black and white nre-runs of Bowery Boy movies, what else could you ask for?.... apart of course from the drag show which starts at 8pm!

We get some great chilli and chowder and enjoy "the girls" going through their routines.  It's pretty tame stuff compared with Thailand, or even the UK but a lot of fun.

Kim and I came to San Francisco the first time 20 years ago.  We fell in love with the place.  It's hard to describe if you've not been but there's and air of positivity and possibility here.  The architecture in the main is wonderful and we're ridiculously lucky with stunning weather.  The walk from where we're staying to the bay area is just great and then the walk along to the wharves packed full of SF life, weirdness, great bars, restaraunts, street theatre, music, colour.

It has it's underbelly mind.  On the walk down to the bay front we stop at one point to watch a pair of azzure humming birds, feeding from buds on the trees which line the street.  I hundred metres further and we come across a guy, in maybe his 50s his clothes are just a tracery of what they were, his bare butt visible through his threadbare pants as he rummages in a waste bin.  He finds a polystyrene takeaway container and he uses the plastic fork he discovers inside to scoop the remains of some rice into his mouth.  We're in one of, if not the, richest country on earth, in the middle of what everyone here is calling a "boom", can they really not find eanything better to do with their cash than sending people to Mars?

(I've just read this next bit back and given the previous paragraph thought I should edit it but, it's made me think!)

20 years ago I'd just had the most amazing bowl of Cioppino brought to the table and Kim started to feel ill.  I had to pay for the meal and leave it there on the table.  To be fair I've not let her forget it and today she's determined we'll find the place and order the ciopinno.  It's a bloody long walk along the bay front and into Little Italy but we find the place or one that looks pretty much like it and I at last get to enjoy the meal I've whazzed on about all these years....It's good, it costs close to 50 bucks but I think Kim would have paid double not to have to endure another 20 years of me whining on about it.

We walk on through China town and into Union square and track down the Owltree bar which we enjoyed a lot last time. Tonite is actual halloween, as opposed to the nearest satrurday when most parties happen, and things in SF are pretty wild.  Brides in blood stained gowns seem to be the motife for most girls, and, it has to be said, a large proportion of the boys.  We have a great night of it in a couple of earsplittingly loud bars.  We actualy get "poached" from one bar by the owners of the place next door.

"This place is shit man, you should come to mour place, we have speckled fucking hen man, these ass holes don't know what the fuck speckled fucking hen is man, come to our place"

Look, they had speckled fucking hen man, of course we had to go.

The bar noise is deafening, it's packed to the rafters, the guy froim next door spots me, opens a can of speckled hen and charges me $8 for it!   I want to fucking kill that ass-hole man!!

Next morning, 1st November, the day after halloween, in true USA fashion Kim and I are enjoying coffee and danish outside in the lovely warm sun in Union Square while behind us some guys in a cherry picker are securing the top section of the huge San Francisco Christmas tree.

We make a great day of traversing the city on the muni (Trams donated from cities all around the world and refurbished here) We take an italian job up through the city, a san diego across and a barcelona back, the traditional SF trolley buses which you've all seen winding up and down the hills and through the wonderful atmospheric streets of San Francisco. 

We wind up at an amazing bar in what I recall was the world bank building 20 years ago, but is now a Hilton hotel.  On the 46th floor the city scape bar offers jaw dropping views of the city as night falls following which we trek to China town for dinner.

The walk from the bay to Golden gate park/Chrissys field via the palace of classical art and back takes a few hours.  The views are stunning and worth every tweak of my newly aquired bunion.  The bridge looks stunning, arching out of twin bands of sea mist which roll over the far end, streaming on into the bay where they encirle Alcatraz. 

In the evening we cruise some bars and food stops on Polk street and end up in a wonderful cocktail bar chatting to a lovely couple of guys that pretty much sum up the whole SF vibe. Witty, bright,  camp, they're great company. I do have to say here that they tempted us into trying a fantastic tequila cocktail and I have no reccollection of their names what-so-ever!

I'm a bit of a fan of the sit-com Frazier.  FRazier is a radio based Psychologist/agony uncle, the program is packed full of great one liners.  There's an episode where Fraziers' ruthless agent is trying to convince Frazier to move from Seattle to San Francisco.

"You'll be on television! Think of the fame, the money, also Frazier.........A straight man in San Francisco????....You'll be like a Snickers bar in a fat camp"

She may have had a point, as I watch one stunning, golden tanned, blond tressed, leggy, short skirt wearing beauty after another, roll by arm in arm with lurching quasi modo types, I start to regret my career choices, with my time again I'd have studied harder, gone to med school, learned boob jobbery, coated myself in chocolate and hung around union square here in SF.