From the highest point on Langkawi.

I have long been of the opinion that "Swim up Bar" is the best phrase in any language, closely followed by "Happy Hour".

"Duty Free", however runs them both pretty close. The whole island of Langkawi is duty free. I'm perusing some new bibles when Kim runs up in an excitable state.

"They have Jack Daniels" she says...."Guess how much, go on guess, guess, ....... guess how bloody much"

Turns out to be 65 Ringgits, or roughly 13 quid!

Most outrageous deal in the shop 1 litre of Johnny Walker 27 Ringgits or about a fiver. It almost seems as if the pricing policy is designed to test the largely Muslim population.

We're thinking we are  likley to enjoy Langkawi. It's beautifully warm here, the searing sun seems to have been left in Thailand at the moment and you feel as if you can go out without losing any layers of uncovered  skin to 3rd degree burns.

Despite this, after 20 minutes of walking around town looking for a shop to get local sims we still have sweat pouring from just about everywhere.  The folk in the shop couldnt be more helpful and once our sims are installed they download grabcar for us which is Malaysian for Uber.

The prices are amazing for Grab cars and we check where there is likley to be a bar for a nice sundowner and maybe a meal.  They reccomend the Marina, "They have a marina??"

"Yes I've put the destination in Grab for you, if the driver asks, you want Yashclash"

"Yashclash?"

"Yes Yashclash"

We practice it a few times to get used to the unfamiliar dialect

, Yashclash, Yashclash, "don't forget it or lord knows where we will end up....Yashclash"

The car pulls up, we get in, 

"yashclash?" asks the driver.

"Yes please Yashclash" we answer.

15 minutes and 4 ringgits later we're standing at the entrance of the Yacht Club.

We've hired a car it's ridiculously cheap and a great way to see as much of the island as possible. Nice to get away from the obvious tourist spots and delve into rural Langkawi. We spend 4 days criss crossing the place checking out the little villages where we are the attraction for the local kids.

Of course we want to drive to the highest point on the Island Gunung Raya...you can't miss it!! From the base to the summit a 30-40 minute drive through stunning scenery and rain forest on roads invaded by monkeys, Iguanas and what all. At the turn off to the mountain is a huge sign. GUNUNG RAYA, HIGHEST POINT ON LANKAWI.

Off we go, twisting and turning stopping every now and again to take in the views and brave the heat as the guage tops 35. At times we drive under the forest canopy, troops of monkeys swing over the road on vines or the more modern phone lines, finally breaking out into full sunlight. It's roasting hot as we park and walk toard the watcgtower and view point. There is a bucket, in it a stick rests, attached to the stick .......a handwritten note.........

Viewing Tower close, hope not inconvenience.

They couldn't have put that at the turn off 40 minutes downhill!?

Fortunately life is a journey not a destination,

and it was a good journey.

Lovely beaches here on Langkawi, Pantai Cenang, Pantai Tengah, Pantai Kok (down girls!) Teluk Datai, Tanjung Rhu. One after another picture perfect. We should maybe write to the Malay Government and ask how come most of them appear to have been sold to foreign owned resorts who post guards on the road to stop locals....Shame!!

Pantai Cenang is at least public, a beautiful curve of sand overlooking which is The Cliff restaurant and bar.  Kim and I decide to visit. On checking the website it appears there's a happy hour on beer all night.  Buy 1 at full price all subsequent beers 50% off.

"Two beers please"

"Sure!"

"Happy hour?"

"There is no happy hour"

"Is this your website?" asks Kim

"Yes"

"See this?.....Happy hour?"

"I'll check with my boss"

"You do that"

He comes back "Hppy hour is finished it was last year"

"Look, is this your website?"

"Yes"

"Does it say there's  happy hour?"

"Yes"

"Does it have a date to say it's finished?"

"No"

"Exactly, we have just taken a half hour taxi drive to get here solely on the basis of this advert on your website" (This is a teeny weeny white lie.) "Bring me the manager"

The manager is away at a conference, the hapless (but very nice) barman brings us a phone and KIm goes into battle.

"Look you can say all you want the offer is finished but I'm still looking at it on YOUR website and it's not my fault you can't manage it. My husband and I (very Queen like) have just sppent half an hour  and god knows how much money (grabcars are ridiculously cheap so maybe 4 quid) getting here solely to enjoy some happy hour beers and watch a sunset"

By this point the manager sounds like a sped up record or pinky or perky (If you're under 30 years old you'll have to ask an elder what this means)

 He asks to be passed back to the barman. After a while he wanders over...

"You get 50% off"

"Off what?"

"Off everything"

Turns out this includes wine with dinner, pre and post dinner cocktails and 10% off the food bill.

You don't take the piss out of my little terrier!!!

An ex fish

We have a wonderful meal at The Cliff. The fish below has been filleted, with the fillets tempura coated then the remainder is battered, held curved into a basket for the fillets in a deep fryer. Served with a varierty of dips fresh veggies and fruit it really was spectacular.

Boat Folk.

A must do in Langkawi is a trip into the Mangroves by boat which ends with a ride into the Andaman where you can see the emerald jewel like islands emerging from the stunning aquamarine ocean. We get whizzed into bat caves and taken around a water born fish farm to feed rays, then get to observe beautiful sea eagles. Completely off the agenda were a pair of white dolphin, making their way upstream through the muddy looking estuary water.  We were transfixed by these stunning creatures, a real surprise and a true delight. Just as we get back to the wharf the sky opens and we're caught in some opf the most torrential rain I've ever seen.  A real eventful day, unforgettable.

New water gard....Oh F*ck it, see above!

The New Water Garden Hawker Centre Rootian Seafood Chinese Restaraunt takes some writing but the food here is just amazing.  When we fist wonder up the front man says

"Sure, take your time, check us out"

In truth it doesn't look promising on first sight. Plastic patio furniture spills out onto the pavement right up to the road side. You can see into the kitchen, the guys are working with ridiculous speed. The gas cookers look like jet engines, flames roaring roof ward, the only thing that stops them igniting the building is a wok.  The food is cooked in moments, sauce added, scooped onto serving plates (plastic) a quick wipe and onto the next order.

Here you can get a Claypot Frog (It's sealed in a clay pot [yes, it"s dead} with veggies, spices and stock then opened at your table) and indeed Pig Uterus.....

But they also have fish, squid and pork dishes soooo good you could almost cry.  They only sell cans of beer but there are 4-5 duty free shops to choose from within a minutes walk, you buy your wine and they provide ice bucket and glasses.  Best Chinese meal of my life so far sitting at a plastic table in this place. 

It's so packed the waiter asks another diner to shuffle up so we can share her table. A chinese lady who's worked in Germany for 10 years, she's a mechanical engineer working on a project in Malaysia.

"Do you like Germany?" says Kim making conversation.

"Yes" she replies with admirable Chino-Germanic Logic "or why would I stay there 10 years?"

"Vorsprung Dork Technic" we reply and tuck into a plate of Nonya Squid. 

I really really suffer from vertigo, to say I'm scared of heights is an understatement, god made me short (compact and perfectly formed) simply so I wouldn't feel bad standing up. Nothing will do therefore but we must go to the langkawi cable car which is (of course) "the steepest in the world"......oh joy!

Jesus! I mean this bloody thing is steep. The view is utterly staggering but after 5 minutes I just start concentrating on the drop. To make my life more. Comfortable kim excitedly runs from side to side and end to end of the car, taking photos and twittering on about how high we are. That is until I suggest she sits down before I puke, then realising I have turned a delicate green colour she amuses herself snapping pictures....no I do not want a f*cking selfie!

Perhaps unsurprisingly for an island that is duty free, breakfast here is made for hangovers. For those of you that think the left over friday night curry is ideal to tackle saturday morning's head this place is perfect. There are never less than 3 curries on offer at brekky.  It took a while for us to get into the swing of it.

Most mornings I would set off toward the curry counter where beef, chicken and lamb were slowly stewing in delicate spice blends with an array of other sauces available to spice up your meal as you see fit.  Naans and other flat breads along with rice and veggie accompaniements are all here, however at the very last second I'd swerve off to the left and order a couple of hard boiled eggs.

They don't really do soft boiled but rather go for half boiled....this led to a couple of unfortunate events where my request for hard was interpreted as half in a noisy environment.  A half boiled egg is just that, a small outer film of cooked white enveloping the raw inner white and yolk. The method is to crack the whole thing into a bowl mix it up with some salt and pepper and eat with a dessert spoon.....

So curry it is...and very nice it is too.

We've had a great stay here in Langkawi, really enjoyed exploring but this morning we look out onto the bay where a gathering monsoonal storm is racing in to meet us as take the 3 hour ferry trip to Penang.

Hello you, George Town you. XX

I'ts a rocky old trip! We're warned that this can be one of the less comfortable ferry rides in the region. Sure enough we're bundled below decks with just tinted windows to view the outside world which, while seeming a good thing rapidly detiorates with the weather. The rain is torrential, the waves very heavy, the crew pass round sick bags but we've already had breakfast! Very glad i passed on the half boiled eggs.

Obviously we get here in the end and get disgorged onto the jetty at Georgetown and start wrestling to get our bags from the pile being unceremoniously constructed by the deckhands. We've booked an airb&b for 3 weeks and get a grabcab for the 15 minute ride out to Tanjong Tokong where we're staying.

It's a great single room apartment 20 floors up in a 40 floor building called the Landmark. We have a pool, a Gym and duty free JD and Penang is known as one of, if not THE food capital of south east Asia.....this should be fun!

View from our temp home

Wow! The appartment is lovely, we have everything we need, the view during the day is nice, at night it's stunning. Once we've dropped our baggage we google "food court near me" and set off to try to walk to "the old food court"

Food courts are something we fell in love with last time we were in Malaysia, they're everywhere here.  If you want to learn about Malay culture and food this is where you start. Mostly these are squares, with a sereies of food outlets along each side and a seating area in the centre.  The size of the court can range from half a dozen outlets to 50+

Your table has a number, someone will bring you your hearts desire in the shape of drinks, mostly ice cold beer or fresh fruit juices, everything from star fruit to mango via coconut, and some one will clean your table between courses. Armed with your number you then peruse the outlets most of which specialise, noodles here, fried rice there, curries, fresh seafood, barbeque, shishdimsum, chicken, duck and pork it goes on, the range is astonishing. Make your order where you will and it all turns up at your table from all points around the square and you pay on delivery.

Very very cheap, amazing quality and the larger places have some form of entertainment going on at a central stage. The old food court is very small, just half a dozen stalls in a covered market square, lovely food great atmosphere and perfect people watching. Only downside, there's a stall which on it's menu has Marmite chicken!! Marmite is really well known here given the expat population, however tonight he's closed! Before we go....

From our vantage point on the 22nd floor we can see the spread of Penang harbour all the way along Gurney Plaza to where The GeorgeTown Unesco protection area starts. The bay is lined with multi storey, modern, High rise steel and concrete.  At night it's magnificent, and the contrast with the historic town couldn't be more marked.

In the mid ground we can watch as a huge land reclamation project is taking place. They dam parts of the bay, pump water one way, sand the other and slowly an area of real estate is being created through which they intend to drive highways and tunnels connecting the modern Penangs, airport and comercial areas without disturbing the historic. It's a massive project.

Below us is an estuary, and everymorning we can watch as some very large Kingfishers skim up and down, reflected in the water like twin lines of electric blue. There is also a colony of Golden Oriols here, just amazingly coloured birds. Sorry but you'll have to google them, thery're incredibly camera shy. Underneath it all a pair of water monitors patrol the shallows and sand banks, legs clamped to their body they curve through the water ignoring a flock of crows that try to mob them.

These boys are like a malayan urban fox.  The first time you see one in an urban context it's quite a shock, coming, as we do, from a country where you rarely see a lizard bigger than your forefinger. We're walking toward a plaza where we've found a place that does amazing Dimsum.  The pavement is bisected by a bellmouth serving a petrol station, out of a drainage ditch a 5 foot monitor emerges and stalks across our path as if we weren't there....actually by the time it's tail disapeared we were already in a bar for restorative brandy!!  We'd seen a few of these in thailand but always in nature areas, seeing one stalk the tarmac is a bit of a shock first time around but we get used to them, they're really magnificent creatures.

Backsies Georgetown stylie.

Georgetown is an idiotically atmospheric and photogenic place. Understandably the whole place is a Unesco heritage site and it's difficult to pass a street corner without being stopped in your tracks. The buildings, the street art, museums, places like the Eastern and Orient hotel built by the Raffles empire crowd your senses along with the vibrant noise an7d smells of the place. Spice is everywhere and food, particularely streetfood is like a religion.

We wonder the ancient chinese Jettys were chinese clans looked to control trade and imports. Still here, built of timber out over the water these communities continue to scratch a living from a mix of trade and tourism.  Back in town the jaw droppingly opulent Clan houses, now mostly museums are testiment to the rewards available in the 18th and 19th century opium, tea and coffee trades.

At night "Love Lane" earns it's name in the darkness between the pillars which line the street. Bars and pop up restaraunts spill out into the street and bikes, cars and the odd "tri-shaw" swerve in and out of the people searching for the perfect fried noodle or barbecued chicken.

Kim and I make our way one Sunday to the protestant cemetary, still marked on old maps as "the burying ground" No one has been burried here since the 1890s and that 40% of the graves are of individuals under 30 years is testimony to the harshness of life here in the pioneering days. Family after family are here "Died of Jungle Fever" within days of each other. 

I'm here on a mission, here, somewhere is the Husband of Anna the teacher portrayed in the film The King and I.  Our mum's loved the film, story and show and idolised Yul Brynner who played the King.  I have an autographed copy of the cast soundtrack from when Yul played the part in London along with a program which my mum collected after the show. Funny how such a tenuous link gives me such a sense of connection to my Mum now as I stand in this graveyard  trying to find this bloody grave   as I have not had for so many years. I'd like to think she would be so excited to know I'd made it here and taken this trouble, those that knew her, Kim included know however she would have said something like "yes of course" and suggested we all have a cup of tea. God bless her.

Tri-shaw rest zone.

4 score years.......Sorry, 10 years ago Kim and I passed this way, fell in love with penange and georgetown and there was no doubt that we had to come back here this time around. A highlight was a trip to Penang hill.  A very old fashioned, wooden, wheezing funicular hauled us to the top.  All the old colonial Governers houses were there along with those belonging to the great and the good who used to escape the remorseless heat of Georgetown (It's 34 degrees minimum.....every day!) at the relatively cool hill top station. There was a lovely old hotel, The Belleview, and it was! A vine covered terrace at the rear of the place overlooked lawns and a jaw dropping view of the strait and the mainland.  Liveried waiters made us feel a tad uncomfy in our crocs and shorts but the service was impeccable as we enjoyed a coulple of pre sundown beers. We recall two pit vipers coiled in among the vines which the waiters took great delight in showing us after we'd sat beneath them for an hour.

Well, it's all changed now. The funicular station is a huge concern, all steel, you go over here to queue for your ticket, over there to queue for your place in a car, stand here and have your photo taken (they super impose you onto a back ground of the top of the hill.....where you are just going.....to take your own photos?) whether you want one or not.  At the top you're met by a posse of guys who want to sell you an electric tuk tuk ride around the summit, it seems walking is now frowned upon.  Previously we wandered up to a rope walk way through the rain forest tree tops.  We remember having to sign a disclaimer before we would go on it so as not to take action "in the event of death or serious injury" Now they expect you to pay the tuk tuk mafia to take you to a fully installed walk way.

It's a bit of a shame but presumably makes some locals some money? We find our way to the Belle view. What a change, what was once a beautiful hotel is now completely run down, there appear to be just 2 members of staff, they seem genuinly surprised to see us.  We have a glass of wine in the garden, the view is still magnificent but, whoever is making money from the "improvements"  on Penang Hill, it's not the Belleview Hotel.

So we're aproaching our 4th New Year celebration of 2018. We enjoyed the Spanish New year with the UK following an hour later while in Miraflores, Songkran in Thailand and now Hari Raya in Malaysia.  It also marks the end of Ramadan, a 40 day fast for our Muslim brothers out here. We're expecting Big Things! 

Turns out Hari Raya is pretty much a family thing, with Malayans making their way back to the family home and enjoying time with their relations. This means that roads throughout Malaysia are pretty much chokka and travel isn't a good idea.  Our air bnb home isn't available any longer so we check into a hotel in the middle of Georgetown so we can sit back and enjoy the festivities.

The muslim population (or at least the men) seem to confine celebrations to rocking up to the hotel bar and cracking a few bottles of scotch which they then consume throughout the evening.

In the UK you'd normally expect this to go pear shaped around 9 pm with some..

"Leave it Steve, we've all had a drink"..."He's not worth it" etc etc.

Kim and I wander into the bar around 11 to watch some world cup, there are a dozen or so guys grouped around 3 bottles of single malt, beautifully "mellowed" and full of laughs.  They insist we sshare ome of their (excellent) whiskey, They teach us how to say happy new year in Malay, Indian, we show them on a map where we're from, one of them is off to work in France soon....

"Is it worth going to Paris!? He asks....

"If you do, remember to ask a tour guide, would London look like this if they'd surrendered straight away?".

Ok so, we decide to hire another car to take us to Kuala Lumpur, via Ipoh and wherever the hell else we want to go. We get our car reservation in early at a tiny office in the centre of Georgetown. All of the staff are very excited at the prospect of a week off, they seem hardly able to coincentrate......... What could possibly go wrong?!

We make our way down to Church Street pier for a final meal in Penang.  At the end of the pier two restaurants stare away from each other out into the bay through floor to ceiling windows. Between them a stage and the biggest Screen I've seen away from a Pink Floyd show.  Tonite it shows football, no one at all is watching.

The view from our chosen restaurant is stunning! We're almost at the level of the waves, the Mellaca strait is full of shipping, Oil tankers making their way from the mainland terminals, tugs, pilot boats, fishing fleets, long tails, a massive cruise ship carrying all the bloody americans and japanese that will make life a misery on Penang Hill tomorrow; and threading through it all, the ferries to the mainland cross each other about every 15 minutes as they do, all day and night, every day and night.  They fill with cars and foot passengers and set out with well regimented precision.

Full of light they spark and rock off into the strait as a huge storm rolls in.  We can see how the ferries begin to need to set off at a huge angle to the mainland to let the strengthening current carry them to their berth, likewise on our side the high sided vessel, appearing top heavy, with cars and people rocks in the increasingly heavy seas and with well practiced expertise judges to perfection, their approach to the jetty.

Lightning is almost constant, it reflects off the plastic macs of foot passengers as they sprint for the jetty, and the huddled passengers waiting for the next departure. The car headlights come on and vehicles queue for the ramp, the lightning stops it all for split seconds, freezing everything, lighting the docks and the whole bay. As if for a flash photograph to remind us of our last meal in Penang............tomorrow Malaysia!

Cue ................"At the sign of the swinging cymbals"

 Dah - Dah - Dah - da da DAAAAAAH!!!

"Afternoon grub pickers, we can't leave Penang without a rundown of of the top   things we munched on the island and so here they are, are you ready to eat?!.....Not Arf!!"

This week's number 10 and destined for great things 

Barbequed Wide Pork Satays at Kek Lok Si temple.

Grilled to perfection, spicy, sweet, you buy 6 and at first bite instantly regret not buying 12.

Staying at 9 this week

Barbequed prawns in black pepper sauce from the Red Garden Food court.

Pick em raw, weigh em, how do you want em cooked? what sauce do you want? served on a banana leaf with an ice cold tiger beer?....Not arf.

And at 8 with their second entry in the chart

Pork and shrimp dumplin's from Red Garden Food Court.

Take your pick from 20+ flavours, bought to your table with chilli and soy dipping sauces, melt in the mouth dumplin', succulent filling, you'll regret every option you don't try.....they rock!!

This weeks number 7

Those veterans of the charts The Old City Food Court and

............Char Kway Teow. 

Noodles fast stir fried, in a very old, very well seasoned wok.. cockles, prawns, Viet sausage, beansprouts, egg, soy, chilli.....cooked in Pork Lard! It's a fat sound but by golly does it work.....Errrr.....Not Arf!

Staying at 6, this weeks first non mover...ERRR..... 

Wood fire baked crab and Prawn from Pak Koong Temple.

Take Crab, Prawns, bake in a wood fired oven, serve in a pile with a wedge of lemon, live, no overdubs.....Errrrrr..........

shall we rock????...............not arf.

Straight in at number 5

Tandori chicken and curried Goat at Olive Kichen.

Arrive too early at this place and it's no good, they don't light the tandoor till 5:30 and you can't order till 6. Arrive too late and you're outa luck.....Is it  beer and wine happy hour? EERRRR It's always beer and wine happy hour!!

At 4

With Assam Laksa it's .........

Gurney Drive food court.

Fish and shrimp broth which tastes and looks as if it's been boiling and reducing for months.....years? .........with chilli, lemongrass, tamarind. packed full of noodle, topped with shrimp and dried sardines, not for the faint hearted, only rockers need apply.......sounds crazy, ................tastes,..............Errr ..........Out-Of-This-World!!

Waiting at number 3.....

It's Pork and Crab Egg Dimsum from

Gurney Road Food Plaza.....

Sauce of ginger, soy and vinegar mixed to perfection, pop your dim sum in a spoon with the sauce, stab it with your chop stick, slurp the broth as it pours out, and eat the dim sum, a refresher for the heart? .....Not arf!

Straight in at number 2 pop pickers and who can doubt it will challenge for the mighty number 1 spot It's.....

Cincaro Prawns from

Hai Wei Chinese seafood.

Don't know what it is, but it's not the surroundings.  A shop front place, jammed full of patio furniture, absolutely packed from opening at 2pm to closing at 10:30 with cacophonous groups and families of chinese eating seafood and drinking scotch from bottles on the table, can you get wine? no you can't, but you can get icy tiger beer...

I don't know what Cincaro is, all they could tell us was it's a Nonya Dish (From Thailand) and they use the cincaro sauce on shrimp crab and squid.

These shrimp are sooooo good it's maybe ruined me for all other shrimp. You have to put the whole thing in your mouth so as not to miss any of the sauce, served with sliced, flash fried Okra, onion and dried cillies. The shrimp are so fresh you can actually eat the whole thing head, shell and all, not up to that? Peel and eat the most beautiful, succulent sweet shrimp ever...Like the locals though (and Rick Stein) don't forget to suck the head (Vicar)

So, here it is Pop pickers, this weeks top of the pops,

Dum-dum

Ding ding ding de ding

their second entry this week,

Ding Ding ding ding de ding

it's number 1, it's top of the pops..........it's ....errrrrrrr....

Dum dum, dum dum Daaaaan, dum de dum dum da-Dum.

Hai Wei and BLACK VINEGAR CHICKEN!!!......Not Arf!......

A vinyl black, platter of utter georgeousness on the "What the F*ck is That?" label......

When Kim took her first mouthful of Black Vinegar Chicken she looked at me and said "it makes me want to cry" and her eyes were shining with tears.

This chicken, ..........crisp,...... juicy,........ tangy,...... spicy, description defyin', transmogrifyin', heartbreakin', earthquake makin' ........a flavour that defies description.

Black vinegar chicken......... one of the best things I've eaten. ....ever!